How do you feel when the weather is bad?
Can a gloomy weather change your mood?
Have you built your emotional life around the behavior of the others?
Do you blame the circumstances or the conditions?
How often do you take initiative for everything that happens in your life?
If you don’t know the answers to this questions, you are in the right place.
It is important to know how to influence your life in order to be an effective person. Life is full of situations that demand your response.
Unlike animals, humans have the ability to be conscious of their actions.
We think, decide and act. But what we don’t realize is, we always have a choice: to be influenced by the circumstances and conditions or have a strong will and act even when circumstances aren’t in our favor.
Reactivity and Proactivity
Overall we can divide people into two main categories: the reactive ones and the proactive ones.
As already mentioned, what distinguishes us from animals is our ability to think and therefore make well-thought decisions. In other words, we have the ability to choose how to respond.
When we permit the environment to control us, we become reactive. And reactivity is solely based on feelings.
Are you miserable and depressed when it rains?
Or cheerful when it’s sunny outside?
This is an emotional response to the weather – we can’t control the weather but what we can control is our attitude towards it. If your mood depends on the weather, then you are not the one influencing his life, but rather you are being influenced by random circumstances in your life.
And because of this, you become a slave. A slave of his own life.
When you take the whole initiative in your hands and don’t let the environment affect you, you become proactive. Being a proactive person means that you are not dependent on your feelings.
Proactive people are driven by their values. It is of a little importance to them if the weather is good or bad because their value is based on producing good quality of work.
Choosing to respond to the circumstances based on your feeling is a basic human instinct and this is how most people react.
Reactive people or we can also call them “emotional” people because they are driven by their feelings are often dependable on someone else’s behavior or external surroundings. That is why they often get hurt and defensive when other people don’t like them or don’t treat them well.
On the other hand, proactive people also get influenced by social circumstances, but they choose to respond otherwise.
They know that if someone doesn’t like them it is not a reason to get hurt.
What they’ve realized is that nobody can hurt them unless they let them.
Our feelings can be hurt. Our values cannot. We are the ones to decide.
Making things happen is not a hard task. You just have to follow these steps:
Take the initiative
Every situation creates a prerequisite and demands a response.
Being the driving force of your life means that you are the one who makes things happen. It means that you don’t wait for perfect weather, perfect opportunity to do something.
Unless you take the initiative you are relying on circumstances and they’re usually not in your favor.
If you want a higher position in the company you’re working at, ask your boss for a raise. If you have work to do, don’t search for an excuse, focus on getting it done.
Choose to act. Otherwise, the circumstances will always act upon you.
If you want to achieve anything in your life, be the driving force.
Rely on values not feelings
First of all, we are all humans and as such, it is inevitable to be affected by our feelings.
Of course, it’s not a bad thing, when you know how to use it in your favor. When it comes to situations where you have control over your feelings, it’s better to not give them the power to affect you.
Guided by our feelings we can’t see everything the way it is.
Let’s say you are scared before an exam. The fear penetrates through all parts of your body. It paralyzes you. You are so scared that you decide you won’t make it and give up.
This is how a person who is guided by his feelings would react.
Let’s see the other perspective. If you rely on your values, which are to give your best and do a great job no matter what, you won’t be influenced by the fear.
You will still think about it. But you won’t let it beat you.
If you are an emotional person, there is a little practice you can do.
Observe your language and change it.
Change “I can’t do it” to “I’ll search for alternatives” or “I’m scared” to “I will”. Not only say it but work for it. The big changes start with small steps.
Control the things you’re responsible for
If you want to be effective, focus your time and energy over things you can control.
Often we put ourselves in situations where we end up blaming the weather because it’s raining and we’ve spent an hour getting ready in vain.
Such things happen.
For our big surprise, neither the weather itself nor the forecast man is guilty.
It is something over which not a human hand has control. Wasting so much energy and time is simply in vain.
Don’t let things out of your control influence you.
You should realize that you are responsible only for the things that are in your range of control. And by doing this you will influence and change the circumstances and conditions in your favor.
We all are able to be proactive. Many people find it unpleasant because it is not in our comfort zone.
However, you are the one to navigate your life. If you want to be an effective person, be and act proactively.
Take initiative in your life and think rational.
Don’t blame the circumstances, if you can respond to them.